The best handshake alternatives need no touch at all
The best handshake alternatives at work need no touch at all. Greet with a clear verbal hello, ideally in the other person’s language, add a genuine smile that reaches your eyes, and signal with your hands, folded over your heart or a small wave, that you neither offer nor expect a handshake.
How do you keep your physical distance and still make a powerful introduction? I first asked myself this when COVID-19 turned the handshake into a health question overnight. The answer still matters, because plenty of people prefer not to shake hands, for many reasons.
And let me be very clear right away: the handshake is not, and never has been, a universal greeting. Many cultures and religions have their own norms, depending on gender, age or background. There is no one-size-fits-all formula. So to avoid awkward handshake attempts, do your research first and take the lead in how the greeting happens.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
- The handshake has never been universal. Culture, religion, gender and age all shape greetings.
- Health concerns, yours or theirs, add another reason someone may not want to shake hands.
- The golden rule: never make yourself or others feel uncomfortable.
- A three-step greeting works everywhere: say hello, smile genuinely, use your hands differently.
- Fist bumps, elbow bumps and hand signs come with their own problems.
Why look for handshake alternatives at all?
On top of cultural differences, the pandemic added health concerns to the traditional handshake. And remember, those concerns can be yours or someone else’s. You may not be ready to shake hands. Or you are, and the other person is not.
What has not changed: you should never make yourself or anyone else feel uncomfortable. With that goal in mind, here is a simple three-step greeting.
3 handshake alternatives that work in any professional setting
1. Verbal acknowledgment
First, just say hello. A simple verbal greeting. Want to impress even more? Find out where the person is from and greet them in their language. A simple “Guten Tag,” “Bonsoir,” “Ciao” or “Ni hao” signals instantly that you did your homework, that you came prepared and, most importantly, that you care. Even if your pronunciation is not perfect, it is a small gesture with a big effect.
2. Smile genuinely
Next, smile, genuinely and invitingly, while you say hello. How we feel in a first encounter depends a lot on whether the other person seems authentic and pleasant. A smile is a strong signal for both, and it lightens the mood from the very start. It also shows confidence, happiness and friendliness, all the things we want to project when greeting someone.
What if you are wearing a mask and nobody can see your smile? A real, authentic smile may start at your lips, but it also involves your eyes. It lifts your cheeks so the skin around your eyes crinkles, the good kind of crinkles. I wrote more about communicating with a face mask here.
3. Use your hands, differently
Finally, and most importantly, signal with your hands that you are not offering a handshake, and not expecting one either. Fold them over your heart, or use them to wave. Both tell people that physical touch is not on the table. Skip the handshake, and keep your greeting to a personal hello, a big smile and clear body language.
Shaking hands is not vital to a first encounter. Making people feel comfortable is.
What about fist bumps, elbow bumps and other alternatives?
Yes, I know plenty of other alternatives are circulating. Here is the problem with them:
- Fist bumps and elbow bumps. You still touch the other person, and you cannot do it from six feet away. Also, people sneeze and cough into their elbows.
- The “live long and prosper” salute, the peace sign or other hand signals. Others may not know what they mean, or they may mean something completely different in another culture.
- Blowing kisses or a cute wink. In a professional setting, they easily come across as inappropriate, overly casual or simply awkward.
Does skipping the handshake make you look less professional?
No. Avoiding handshakes does not make you less of a professional or less of a leader. You can still step into your leadership potential and make a strong first impression with a greeting that involves no touch at all. The unspoken truth is that shaking hands is not vital to a first encounter.
For more on what people read in those first seconds, see examples of first impressions that sell and why remembering names still beats any greeting ritual.
The Image of Leadership
A greeting is behavior, and behavior is one of the five signals I write about in The Image of Leadership. The book shows you how etiquette, attitude and body language shape how people see you as a leader, long before the conversation starts.
Frequently asked questions
What can I do instead of a handshake at work?
Say hello clearly, ideally adding a greeting in the other person’s language, smile genuinely so it reaches your eyes, and use your hands to show you are not offering a handshake, for example a small wave or a hand placed over your heart. This works across cultures and makes no one uncomfortable.
How do I politely decline a handshake?
Signal it before the moment gets awkward. Keep your hands visible, place one over your heart or give a small wave, smile warmly and say something friendly such as “So nice to meet you.” Most people pick up the cue immediately. A confident, warm alternative never comes across as rude.
Is an elbow bump a good handshake alternative?
Not really. You still touch the other person, you cannot keep any real distance, and many people cough or sneeze into their elbows. In professional settings, a verbal greeting with a genuine smile and clear hand signal is the safer choice.
Is the handshake a universal business greeting?
No. Many cultures and religions have different greeting norms that depend on gender, age or background. In some cultures, touching when greeting is inappropriate, and others bow instead. Research the customs of the person you are meeting and take the lead with a greeting that fits.
